(no subject)

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry groans, but he figures he can't put this off any longer. He's been sobered from his musical madness since early evening yesterday, and though he knows he needs to apologize, this morning is the first time he's been brave enough to try.

Sitting up in bed, Barry leaves the sheets where they are, turning on his video recorder on his phone still in the safe confines of his blanket tent. "Um, hey," he says, staring at the screen with haunted eyes. "So, I know yesterday was kind of...a lot?" Barry swallows. "I saw on the news that a bunch of people had some kind of tainted chocolate intoxication, I can only assume I was one of them because I would never - "

Barry draws a deep breath. "I would never sing and dance like that willingly. I mean, unless you really wanted me to, then of course I'd try, but I'm getting the feeling you don't really...have that inclination. So I'm sorry for forcing it on you. And."

Barry hits pause, running his hand through his hair while he waits out the heat in his cheeks, but it doesn't seem like his blush is fading any time soon. "I'd still really like to go out tonight," he says, hitting record again. "If you don't, I won't blame you like, at all, but I promise not to sing at you, or to you, or to anyone ever, possibly ever again. So."

Barry stares into the camera. "Text me if you're still up for it. Um. Bye."

Drawing a breath, Barry sends the video to Derek and resumes hiding in bed.

Comments

[triskehale]

Derek doesn't even get a chance to reach for the check, and he looks at Barry curiously at the mention of the paper route. "Why did you-- oh, I guess yesterday really tapped you out, huh?"

He goes warm just at the mention of the flash mob but now that time has passed, and he's sitting here across from Barry, it just makes him smile. It was just another one of Darrow's tricks, but hopefully it'll be a funny story they end up telling. Because there's still that flare of hope in his chest, warm and bright like a flame, and it's only getting bigger as the night progresses.

"Okay, but the next one's on me," Derek says, giving Barry a hopeful smile before nodding and sliding out of the booth. The waitress smiles at them, and Derek ducks his head. After a moment, he bites his lip and then holds his hand out to Barry.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry's is digesting that, a next time, another date, when he looks up and sees Derek holding out his hand. Barry beams and for once doesn't second guess that Derek's reaching for something other than him. He fits his hand in Derek's own and marvels at the warmth, then realizes he doesn't have his coat on yet.

"Sorry," Barry mutters hastily, putting his coat on in record time, even for a speedster, and reclaims Derek's hand with a bashful smile. "For real this time," he says and squeezes.

[triskehale]

"Worth the wait," Derek shoots back, threading their fingers together and squeezing. For as much as he really wouldn't mind doing other things with Barry, this is really nice. There's a gentle sort of intimacy to it, one that Derek find comforting, and he smiles over at Barry as they step back out into the cold.

"There's a drug store a few blocks up here," Derek tells him, and they start to walk. The moon looms high in the sky, less than a week from being full, and he takes in a deep breath of the night air before letting it out slowly. "That place was really good. Steaks weren't as good as mine, of course. But they were good."

He gives Barry a teasing smile and lets his gaze linger on Barry's profile, backlit by streetlights and the glow of the moon. He smells happy and excited all at once, and Derek made that happen. He put that smile on Barry's face, made his scent go all warm and content, and he can barely believe it. He just feels so grateful, and he squeezes Barry's hand and moves a bit closer before turning his gaze forward again.

[thescarletspeedster]

It's as if he can feel Derek's gaze on him, his skin tingling in the wake of those hazel eyes as they pass over him, and when Derek looks away, Barry takes the opportunity to stare at him in turn. He's one of those rare people who doesn't seem to have a bad angle, looking as impossibly handsome from the side as he does the front. His cheekbones could probably cut glass, but it's the corner of Derek's mouth that Barry finds himself most enamored with, the crease of his eyes. The tiny lines there only come from smiling, and Derek has such a kind smile. Even if Derek never held his hand again, Barry thinks he might be okay so long as he still got to see him smile like that.

He nearly walks into a post and startles, realizing they're at the store. "Oh, no way," Barry breathes, staring through the window. "Even the Reese's are on sale?" He drags Derek to the door and opens it. "And Take 5 bars? Are they crazy?"

[triskehale]

"I'll buy you whatever candy you want," Derek says with a laugh, letting himself be dragged along. He grabs a basket as they pass by, looping his arm through the handles as they make their way to the candy aisle. He sweeps all the heart shaped Reese's and Take 5 bars into the basket, and then grabs a few bags of the mixed Hershey's minis. "We may have to roll ourselves down this mountain."

Even as he says it, he grabs a bag of Tootsie Rolls and drops them into the basket. There's a chocolate rose, wrapped up in red foil, and Derek reaches out to grab it and hold it out to Barry. "So, are these the types of flowers that I should bring you?"

It's exhilarating and scary to talk about this going beyond tonight, but he's almost certain that he isn't alone in what he's feeling. As long as he doesn't somehow screw up entirely between here and the end of the night, they'll be doing this again. Even with Barry standing at his side, he's already looking forward to spending more time with him.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry watches in approval as Derek piles the basket high with sweets, laughing in surprise when Derek lifts the chocolate rose. It's like something from a film, a gorgeous man holding out a rose, and for once Barry's not the observer. He's the target, and despite himself Barry's heart clenches.

"It might be the only gift more fleeting than actual flowers," he says, lifting the stuffed wolf to squeeze to his chest. "I'm actually not sure you're going to top this guy. Feel free to bring me chocolates anyway," he adds, then blanches.

"Just maybe not on Valentine's Day, just in case."

[triskehale]

"But so much more satisfying," Derek counters, touching the end of Barry's nose with the rose before putting it carefully into the basket. He's so enamored with Barry and the way that he's clutching that stuffed wolf that it takes him a moment to register the comment, and once he understands he lets out an unmistakably fond chuckle.

"Maybe we'll get stuck under the enchanted mistletoe at Kagura instead," Derek says with a sly look, waggling his eyebrows playfully before putting an arm around Barry's waist and pressing a kiss to his temple. He pulls away after that and heads for the register, pausing to grab a bottle of champagne and add that to the basket. It won't do anything to either of them, but it'll fit with the ambiance, he thinks.

[thescarletspeedster]

"Does that happen?" Barry asks, but he doesn't listen for the answer, leaning into Derek's arm and the kiss when it comes, grinning after him when Derek drifts away to the register.

He waits for Derek to pay, still smiling softly when Derek returns with the bag. "You're a romantic," says Barry, both in pleasure and accusation.

[triskehale]

Derek rejoins Barry with two heaping bags of candy and he's just about to open his mouth to say something when Barry beats him to it. His cheeks flush a bit when Barry calls him romantic, and he can't even lift his hand to try and wipe it away. As if wiping a blush away is something that's even possible.

"Um, I guess I am," Derek says with a helpless shrug. "I've never really gotten the chance to find out before."

He hasn't thought about Stiles all night, which is a good sign in and of itself. He only thinks about him now because of Barry's comment. Stiles wasn't very romantic, which wasn't a bad thing. Derek always tried to follow his cues, but he suddenly remembers Stiles' face when he ended things. You're too intense.

Do romantic and intense fall into the same category? Derek suddenly feels nervous, and he does his best to keep his sudden uncertainty off of his face. He reaches into the bag and pulls out the rose, giving Barry a shyly hopeful smile as he holds it out to him. "Is that a good thing?"

[thescarletspeedster]

"Yeah," says Barry, stepping forward when Derek's face falls all at once. He frames Derek's hips with his hands, releasing him only when the rose appears between them. "Believe me," he says, taking it with a soft smile, "I've been waiting for romance for a long time."

He lets Derek keep hold of the bags, but Barry claims his free hand, turning to lead him back into the night. "So," he says, "Do you want to take the long way, or the really, really short way there?"

[triskehale]

Derek exhales all at once when Barry steps up and reaches out for him, nodding and smiling at him. He sways forward a bit when Barry lets him go, and then takes his hand as they leave the store.

"Show off," he says fondly. "Didn't we just talk about you not being able to see in the dark?"

Honestly, Derek is torn. He wants to soak up all the time with Barry that he can get, but maybe that time would be better spent on the look out. He lets go of Barry's hand and loops an arm around his shoulders instead, preparing to be swept away. "Take us to the back of Petros, where we were after that snow day, and I'll lead us from there."

He lets his eyes flash red and gives him an easy smile. "We can both show off."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry grins as Derek slings his arm over his shoulders. He doesn't admit that most of the time he just grabs people by the scruff or their collars. It's not dignified, but it's over before they can even register the touch most of the time. For Derek, though, Barry's entirely willing to sweep him off his feet.

"I'll be careful," he promises, "No tripping over roots or into trees." Before Derek can think on that too long, Barry lifts him and starts running, speeding them safely through Petros and to the edge where the trees get thick.

"Best thing about the cold?" asks Barry as he sets Derek back onto his feet, carding a hand through Derek's dark hair to fix it after the wind. "No clothes on fire."

[triskehale]

"That would be a mood killer," Derek says as he steadies himself. Barry's fingers go into his hair and he watches him, letting his eyes flare red so he can see him even better. Thankfully, the mood is high and bright so Barry shouldn't have too much trouble seeing. Once they're on the clifftop, it won't matter. There won't be any trees to block the light.

"I won't let you trip." He takes Barry's hand again and starts to lead him into the trees, easily finding the path that he's made himself over his years here. It really isn't that far, not for Derek at least, and he stays close to Barry as they walk.

"How are you with climbing?" He asks suddenly. "Can you just--" He makes an upwards motion with his hand, coupled with a short whistle. "Run right up?"

[thescarletspeedster]

"Oh yeah," says Barry with a touch of smugness, though in truth, he hasn't tried to show off much with Derek. There hasn't really been time or opportunity - on New Years, he just wanted people to be safe, and on the ride here he'd made no flourishes at all.

"I can run right up a skyscraper no problem. Even into the air for a short while if I get enough momentum."

[triskehale]

"Wow," Derek says, understandably impressed. Barry does sound a little smug, but it's well-earned. And slightly endearing. At this point Derek is pretty sure that everything Barry does is slightly endearing.

They make their way through the woods and eventually come to what's basically a sheer cliff about fifty feet high. There are a few little outcroppings and Derek grins at Barry before letting go of him and jumping up onto the first one about ten feet up. "Meet you at the top."

Barry will beat him, he's sure, but Derek makes quick work of jumping and climbing, digging his claws into the rock to hang on. He gets to the top and walks around a slight bend to reveal the ocean, rolling out until it meets the horizon and fades into an inky black. "This is it."

Derek thinks this place is beautiful, and maybe the most peaceful place in the city. Certainly one of the most secluded. "Do you like it?"

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry knows he can make it up between the space of one breath and the next, and he lingers at the bottom to watch Derek's ascent, eyebrows lifting in surprise and approval to see how far Derek can jump while still a man. He waits until Derek is nearly at the top and takes off, running straight up to arrive next to Derek when he straightens to take in the view.

"It's really nice," says Barry, still watching Derek's profile. "You're really strong, huh? Even like this."

[triskehale]

"Mm? Yeah, I suppose," Derek says, looking away from the ocean to find Barry watching him. He retracts his claws and sets the bag down near a scraggly tree, bending over to drag out a small duffle bag hidden behind it before straightening up again. "The full moon will give me a bit of a boost, but my powers stay pretty consistent no matter what time of the month it is."

The bag has a few things that Derek has stashed away up here in case he ever needs them, namely sweatpants and protein bars, but he does find a rolled up fleece blanket. He shakes it out and lays it across the mossy earth before setting their bag of candy on it and gesturing for Barry to sit. Maybe if he knew that they were going to come up here he would have planned better, but this seems like it'll do.

"I rarely have a reason to use my full strength," Derek says as he reaches out to take Barry's hand again. His fingers are long and slender, and Derek could so easily crush his hand with little effort. So it means even more that Barry knows what he is, what he can do, and still puts his hand so easily into Derek's. "But one of the first things that I was taught was how to be gentle."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Yeah," Barry breathes. He thinks it would have taken him longer to put it into those words - a large man like Derek doesn't exactly inspire the word gentle on first glance - but now that he sees it, it's obvious. "I felt safe with you right from the start. Even before you took my pain."

Barry smiles and laces their fingers together. Some people are just good, and nothing they do or have done to them can dim that. It's an admirable quality, and a rare one, at that. Unsure whether it's too soon, Barry fights the sudden urge to lean over and kiss Derek, making himself look around at the blanket instead.

"You really spend a lot of time out here, don't you?"

[triskehale]

"Really?" Derek asks quietly, sounding surprised and confused and pleased all at once. He's done a lot of bad things, and gotten a lot of people hurt or worse, but all he's ever wanted was to be a good person. He wants to be like his mother, even just a little bit.

"When I was about five and my strength really started to manifest, I kept breaking things on accident. I broke my toys, and one of the kitchen chairs. I was afraid to touch anyone," Derek blurts, baffled by how easily the intensely personal story is falling from his lips. "My infant cousin was human, and I was just-- I refused to touch him."

He looks at Barry's hand in his own, listens to the flutter of his heart, and keeps talking. "One day my mom found me and put a baby bird that she had found in my hands. I was so sure that I would just crush it, but I didn't. I held it all day until it was strong enough to fly away."

Derek aches at the memory, swallowing hard and sliding his thumb across the back of Barry's hand. "She knew I wouldn't, and she wanted to show me what she saw in me. I-- I've always wanted to be like her. She was the strongest wolf I ever knew, but also the kindest person."

He looks up in time to see Barry staring at him, and for a moment Derek thinks that maybe they're about to kiss. Barry pulls away, and Derek finds that he isn't even disappointed. It just wasn't the right moment. Derek never really thought he'd get a right moment again, so he's willing to wait for it.

"Uh, yeah," he says, blinking down at the blanket. He feels a little scraped raw, like his chest was hollowed out. He's never told anyone that story, but he doesn't regret it. People should know who Talia was. He clears his throat and sits down, tugging Barry down gently by his hand. "It's pretty much the farthest away from the actual city that you can get. I like it up here, like this and as a wolf."

[thescarletspeedster]

Settling next to Derek on the blanket, Barry pushes his fingers through Derek's hair, even though it needs no straightening. His own heart aches, for Derek's obvious love, for his loss, the pain he always feels for his own mother echoing in his breast. He leans in and does kiss Derek after all, chaste and sweet on his bearded cheek.

"Smart woman," he says, for a mother can see what her children can't. Barry's mother had known him even when he suddenly appeared to her twenty years older - of course Derek's own had seen the kindness in him at once. "I'm really sorry you lost her, Derek. The world would've been a better place if she could have stayed in it longer. But for what it's worth," he adds, looking down at the blanket. "I can see the person she was in you."

[triskehale]

Barry's lips are soft and warm against Derek's cheek, and it's soothing and thrilling all at once. Barry means every word that he says, heart beating steadily, and Derek's throat tightens the slightest bit. He busies himself with extending a claw and slicing open the bag of Reese's, retracting it again as he digs two out of the bag.

"Our mothers probably would have gotten along really well," Derek offers, holding out of the candies out to Barry. He doesn't know much about Barry's mother, but she made a person like Barry, and helped shaped him into someone so kind. Derek feels grateful to her, wherever she may be. "Your mom would probably really proud of you, you know?"

He smiles and unwraps his candy, popping it into his mouth before putting the wrapper back into the bag. A cool breeze sweeps in off the ocean, ruffling their hair, and Derek slides an arm around Barry's shoulders to draw him in against his side. "I hope that it isn't too cold up here for you."

But Barry feels warm against him, and Derek slides his hand down Barry's side to curl it around his hip. He doesn't really think that he needs an excuse to hold Barry close at this point, but keeping him warm isn't a bad one.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry takes the candy, but his throat feels too tight to eat it just yet. He leans into Derek gratefully when he offers his arm, shaking his head for the cold comment. He soaks in Derek's warmth for a long moment, warring with himself over what he says next. He could have saved her. He knows that, and he even knows why he didn't, but it will always feel like the wrong choice.

"I saw her," he says eventually. "About half a year or so before I came here. I ran back in time to save my mom." Barry swallows, glad that his cheek is tucked against Derek's shoulder where he can't see his face. "But she died anyway. I got to hold her, though. She wasn't alone this time."

[triskehale]

Derek's breath catches at the words, and the peanut butter suddenly tastes like chalk on his tongue. He imagines getting to see his mother once more, to hold her in his arms, only to watch her die. It fills him with equal parts jealousy and horror, and he wraps his arm more tightly around Barry.

"I'm sure that you did everything you could. She knew that too," Derek says quietly, turning to press a kiss to Barry's forehead, right at his hairline. The mention of time travel barely fazes him now, and he imagines that there would have been major ramifications to altering the past so profoundly. That doesn't mean that Derek wouldn't have been tempted to do so himself, given the chance. "I'm still sorry that you had to go through that."

They sit there in silence for awhile, and while Derek is grateful that they've been able to share so much with each other, he misses seeing a smile on Barry's face. The last thing he wants to do is make light of Barry's pain, or act like what he's saying doesn't matter. Derek holds him for a long time, absently pressing kisses to his hair until his breathing evens out.

"So," he says after what he hopes is a respectable amount of time, smiling gently and reaching out to pick up the stuffed wolf. He lifts it up and taps Barry's cheek with its nose. "Thought of a name for this guy yet? Since he's so special to you and all."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry closes his eyes, and though he knows it will never stop weighing on him, it feels good to have told someone about that at last. He waits out the lump in his throat, wondering if he's going to cry for the tenderness each time Derek kisses him, but Barry manages to hold it all back. It'd be the third time, after all, that he's lost it in front of Derek, but something about him just makes Barry want to talk.

He laughs when Derek lifts the stuffed wolf, as eager as Derek is to lighten the mood, and grabs for it. "I actually hadn't gotten any further than Wolfy," he admits, holding it up. "But it kind of suits him, right?"

[triskehale]

"It does," Derek says with a laugh, smiling at the wolf. He imagines the wolf sitting there in Barry's apartment, being there for him when he's sad and Derek isn't around. The thought is saccharine enough that Derek blinks and shakes his head a little, wondering all the while what Barry is doing to him. He can't even say that he minds.

Derek dumps the bag of candy out and then takes the champagne bottle out, unwrapping the foil and holding the bottle away from them. He pops the cork, sending it sailing over the side of the cliff, and laughs until he looks down and around. His brow furrows and he very nearly pouts. "I forgot to get cups, so we can't be classy."

He gives Barry sort of a sheepish look. "I was going to toast to a great night."