(no subject)

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry groans, but he figures he can't put this off any longer. He's been sobered from his musical madness since early evening yesterday, and though he knows he needs to apologize, this morning is the first time he's been brave enough to try.

Sitting up in bed, Barry leaves the sheets where they are, turning on his video recorder on his phone still in the safe confines of his blanket tent. "Um, hey," he says, staring at the screen with haunted eyes. "So, I know yesterday was kind of...a lot?" Barry swallows. "I saw on the news that a bunch of people had some kind of tainted chocolate intoxication, I can only assume I was one of them because I would never - "

Barry draws a deep breath. "I would never sing and dance like that willingly. I mean, unless you really wanted me to, then of course I'd try, but I'm getting the feeling you don't really...have that inclination. So I'm sorry for forcing it on you. And."

Barry hits pause, running his hand through his hair while he waits out the heat in his cheeks, but it doesn't seem like his blush is fading any time soon. "I'd still really like to go out tonight," he says, hitting record again. "If you don't, I won't blame you like, at all, but I promise not to sing at you, or to you, or to anyone ever, possibly ever again. So."

Barry stares into the camera. "Text me if you're still up for it. Um. Bye."

Drawing a breath, Barry sends the video to Derek and resumes hiding in bed.

Comments

[triskehale]

Derek exhales all at once when Barry steps up and reaches out for him, nodding and smiling at him. He sways forward a bit when Barry lets him go, and then takes his hand as they leave the store.

"Show off," he says fondly. "Didn't we just talk about you not being able to see in the dark?"

Honestly, Derek is torn. He wants to soak up all the time with Barry that he can get, but maybe that time would be better spent on the look out. He lets go of Barry's hand and loops an arm around his shoulders instead, preparing to be swept away. "Take us to the back of Petros, where we were after that snow day, and I'll lead us from there."

He lets his eyes flash red and gives him an easy smile. "We can both show off."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry grins as Derek slings his arm over his shoulders. He doesn't admit that most of the time he just grabs people by the scruff or their collars. It's not dignified, but it's over before they can even register the touch most of the time. For Derek, though, Barry's entirely willing to sweep him off his feet.

"I'll be careful," he promises, "No tripping over roots or into trees." Before Derek can think on that too long, Barry lifts him and starts running, speeding them safely through Petros and to the edge where the trees get thick.

"Best thing about the cold?" asks Barry as he sets Derek back onto his feet, carding a hand through Derek's dark hair to fix it after the wind. "No clothes on fire."

[triskehale]

"That would be a mood killer," Derek says as he steadies himself. Barry's fingers go into his hair and he watches him, letting his eyes flare red so he can see him even better. Thankfully, the mood is high and bright so Barry shouldn't have too much trouble seeing. Once they're on the clifftop, it won't matter. There won't be any trees to block the light.

"I won't let you trip." He takes Barry's hand again and starts to lead him into the trees, easily finding the path that he's made himself over his years here. It really isn't that far, not for Derek at least, and he stays close to Barry as they walk.

"How are you with climbing?" He asks suddenly. "Can you just--" He makes an upwards motion with his hand, coupled with a short whistle. "Run right up?"

[thescarletspeedster]

"Oh yeah," says Barry with a touch of smugness, though in truth, he hasn't tried to show off much with Derek. There hasn't really been time or opportunity - on New Years, he just wanted people to be safe, and on the ride here he'd made no flourishes at all.

"I can run right up a skyscraper no problem. Even into the air for a short while if I get enough momentum."

[triskehale]

"Wow," Derek says, understandably impressed. Barry does sound a little smug, but it's well-earned. And slightly endearing. At this point Derek is pretty sure that everything Barry does is slightly endearing.

They make their way through the woods and eventually come to what's basically a sheer cliff about fifty feet high. There are a few little outcroppings and Derek grins at Barry before letting go of him and jumping up onto the first one about ten feet up. "Meet you at the top."

Barry will beat him, he's sure, but Derek makes quick work of jumping and climbing, digging his claws into the rock to hang on. He gets to the top and walks around a slight bend to reveal the ocean, rolling out until it meets the horizon and fades into an inky black. "This is it."

Derek thinks this place is beautiful, and maybe the most peaceful place in the city. Certainly one of the most secluded. "Do you like it?"

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry knows he can make it up between the space of one breath and the next, and he lingers at the bottom to watch Derek's ascent, eyebrows lifting in surprise and approval to see how far Derek can jump while still a man. He waits until Derek is nearly at the top and takes off, running straight up to arrive next to Derek when he straightens to take in the view.

"It's really nice," says Barry, still watching Derek's profile. "You're really strong, huh? Even like this."

[triskehale]

"Mm? Yeah, I suppose," Derek says, looking away from the ocean to find Barry watching him. He retracts his claws and sets the bag down near a scraggly tree, bending over to drag out a small duffle bag hidden behind it before straightening up again. "The full moon will give me a bit of a boost, but my powers stay pretty consistent no matter what time of the month it is."

The bag has a few things that Derek has stashed away up here in case he ever needs them, namely sweatpants and protein bars, but he does find a rolled up fleece blanket. He shakes it out and lays it across the mossy earth before setting their bag of candy on it and gesturing for Barry to sit. Maybe if he knew that they were going to come up here he would have planned better, but this seems like it'll do.

"I rarely have a reason to use my full strength," Derek says as he reaches out to take Barry's hand again. His fingers are long and slender, and Derek could so easily crush his hand with little effort. So it means even more that Barry knows what he is, what he can do, and still puts his hand so easily into Derek's. "But one of the first things that I was taught was how to be gentle."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Yeah," Barry breathes. He thinks it would have taken him longer to put it into those words - a large man like Derek doesn't exactly inspire the word gentle on first glance - but now that he sees it, it's obvious. "I felt safe with you right from the start. Even before you took my pain."

Barry smiles and laces their fingers together. Some people are just good, and nothing they do or have done to them can dim that. It's an admirable quality, and a rare one, at that. Unsure whether it's too soon, Barry fights the sudden urge to lean over and kiss Derek, making himself look around at the blanket instead.

"You really spend a lot of time out here, don't you?"

[triskehale]

"Really?" Derek asks quietly, sounding surprised and confused and pleased all at once. He's done a lot of bad things, and gotten a lot of people hurt or worse, but all he's ever wanted was to be a good person. He wants to be like his mother, even just a little bit.

"When I was about five and my strength really started to manifest, I kept breaking things on accident. I broke my toys, and one of the kitchen chairs. I was afraid to touch anyone," Derek blurts, baffled by how easily the intensely personal story is falling from his lips. "My infant cousin was human, and I was just-- I refused to touch him."

He looks at Barry's hand in his own, listens to the flutter of his heart, and keeps talking. "One day my mom found me and put a baby bird that she had found in my hands. I was so sure that I would just crush it, but I didn't. I held it all day until it was strong enough to fly away."

Derek aches at the memory, swallowing hard and sliding his thumb across the back of Barry's hand. "She knew I wouldn't, and she wanted to show me what she saw in me. I-- I've always wanted to be like her. She was the strongest wolf I ever knew, but also the kindest person."

He looks up in time to see Barry staring at him, and for a moment Derek thinks that maybe they're about to kiss. Barry pulls away, and Derek finds that he isn't even disappointed. It just wasn't the right moment. Derek never really thought he'd get a right moment again, so he's willing to wait for it.

"Uh, yeah," he says, blinking down at the blanket. He feels a little scraped raw, like his chest was hollowed out. He's never told anyone that story, but he doesn't regret it. People should know who Talia was. He clears his throat and sits down, tugging Barry down gently by his hand. "It's pretty much the farthest away from the actual city that you can get. I like it up here, like this and as a wolf."

[thescarletspeedster]

Settling next to Derek on the blanket, Barry pushes his fingers through Derek's hair, even though it needs no straightening. His own heart aches, for Derek's obvious love, for his loss, the pain he always feels for his own mother echoing in his breast. He leans in and does kiss Derek after all, chaste and sweet on his bearded cheek.

"Smart woman," he says, for a mother can see what her children can't. Barry's mother had known him even when he suddenly appeared to her twenty years older - of course Derek's own had seen the kindness in him at once. "I'm really sorry you lost her, Derek. The world would've been a better place if she could have stayed in it longer. But for what it's worth," he adds, looking down at the blanket. "I can see the person she was in you."

[triskehale]

Barry's lips are soft and warm against Derek's cheek, and it's soothing and thrilling all at once. Barry means every word that he says, heart beating steadily, and Derek's throat tightens the slightest bit. He busies himself with extending a claw and slicing open the bag of Reese's, retracting it again as he digs two out of the bag.

"Our mothers probably would have gotten along really well," Derek offers, holding out of the candies out to Barry. He doesn't know much about Barry's mother, but she made a person like Barry, and helped shaped him into someone so kind. Derek feels grateful to her, wherever she may be. "Your mom would probably really proud of you, you know?"

He smiles and unwraps his candy, popping it into his mouth before putting the wrapper back into the bag. A cool breeze sweeps in off the ocean, ruffling their hair, and Derek slides an arm around Barry's shoulders to draw him in against his side. "I hope that it isn't too cold up here for you."

But Barry feels warm against him, and Derek slides his hand down Barry's side to curl it around his hip. He doesn't really think that he needs an excuse to hold Barry close at this point, but keeping him warm isn't a bad one.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry takes the candy, but his throat feels too tight to eat it just yet. He leans into Derek gratefully when he offers his arm, shaking his head for the cold comment. He soaks in Derek's warmth for a long moment, warring with himself over what he says next. He could have saved her. He knows that, and he even knows why he didn't, but it will always feel like the wrong choice.

"I saw her," he says eventually. "About half a year or so before I came here. I ran back in time to save my mom." Barry swallows, glad that his cheek is tucked against Derek's shoulder where he can't see his face. "But she died anyway. I got to hold her, though. She wasn't alone this time."

[triskehale]

Derek's breath catches at the words, and the peanut butter suddenly tastes like chalk on his tongue. He imagines getting to see his mother once more, to hold her in his arms, only to watch her die. It fills him with equal parts jealousy and horror, and he wraps his arm more tightly around Barry.

"I'm sure that you did everything you could. She knew that too," Derek says quietly, turning to press a kiss to Barry's forehead, right at his hairline. The mention of time travel barely fazes him now, and he imagines that there would have been major ramifications to altering the past so profoundly. That doesn't mean that Derek wouldn't have been tempted to do so himself, given the chance. "I'm still sorry that you had to go through that."

They sit there in silence for awhile, and while Derek is grateful that they've been able to share so much with each other, he misses seeing a smile on Barry's face. The last thing he wants to do is make light of Barry's pain, or act like what he's saying doesn't matter. Derek holds him for a long time, absently pressing kisses to his hair until his breathing evens out.

"So," he says after what he hopes is a respectable amount of time, smiling gently and reaching out to pick up the stuffed wolf. He lifts it up and taps Barry's cheek with its nose. "Thought of a name for this guy yet? Since he's so special to you and all."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry closes his eyes, and though he knows it will never stop weighing on him, it feels good to have told someone about that at last. He waits out the lump in his throat, wondering if he's going to cry for the tenderness each time Derek kisses him, but Barry manages to hold it all back. It'd be the third time, after all, that he's lost it in front of Derek, but something about him just makes Barry want to talk.

He laughs when Derek lifts the stuffed wolf, as eager as Derek is to lighten the mood, and grabs for it. "I actually hadn't gotten any further than Wolfy," he admits, holding it up. "But it kind of suits him, right?"

[triskehale]

"It does," Derek says with a laugh, smiling at the wolf. He imagines the wolf sitting there in Barry's apartment, being there for him when he's sad and Derek isn't around. The thought is saccharine enough that Derek blinks and shakes his head a little, wondering all the while what Barry is doing to him. He can't even say that he minds.

Derek dumps the bag of candy out and then takes the champagne bottle out, unwrapping the foil and holding the bottle away from them. He pops the cork, sending it sailing over the side of the cliff, and laughs until he looks down and around. His brow furrows and he very nearly pouts. "I forgot to get cups, so we can't be classy."

He gives Barry sort of a sheepish look. "I was going to toast to a great night."

[thescarletspeedster]

"That's a pretty good cause," Barry admits with a rueful grin. His eyes spark, the only warning there is before he leans in and kisses Derek's cheek again, disappearing in a small whirlwind of leaves. There's barely time to register that he's gone before he's back again, out of breath with a twig in his hair, but with two plastic cups in his hands.

"Now we can do it proper," says Barry with a huge smile. "So long as nothing happened to Wolfy in my absence."

[triskehale]

Derek watches the spark in Barry's eyes with obvious interest, and then laughs when he blinks and Barry's gone. He's back before Derek can even blink again, and the look that he gives Barry is endlessly fond.

"That's a neat trick." He leans in and plucks the twig from Barry's hair, tossing it aside and pushing his hair back into place. He cups Barry's cheek for a moment, tracing a line between a few a of his moles before dropping his hand to take one of the cups from Barry. "We kept each other company. We're pack now."

He smirks and pats the stuffed wolf before pouring champagne into both cups and setting the bottle aside, holding his cup up with a pleased smile. "To a good night. A really good night."

[thescarletspeedster]

Derek has a look on his face that makes Barry's breath catch, and when he touches his cheek, for a moment Barry's sure he's going to kiss him. He doesn't though, and Barry shudders out a sigh, for a moment nothing more than a flustered ball of tangled nerves. He grins, though, unfettered and bright when Derek calls the date a good night. A really good night.

"I'm just really happy you said yes," he admits, tapping his glass against Derek's before he takes a sip. "It's really nice to be with someone who knows all of me. It's...really nice to be out with you in general."

[triskehale]

Derek is nervous, but it's a good sort of nervous. He keeps his eyes on Barry's face, watching as he draws himself up and then shudders. He smells just as nervous as Derek does, but happy too. He smells so happy, and Derek is still in awe of being able to make someone as wonderful as Barry smile like that.

"I'm happy too," he admits. The words feel foreign on his tongue, but it's true. In this moment, he's happier than he's been in a really long time. They sip from their glasses and Derek lets the effervescent drink roll across his tongue, taking in the bright flavor of it. For drugstore champagne that won't give him even the slightest buzz, it isn't half bad.

"It is nice, isn't it? Being able to be yourself around someone," Derek says quietly, staring at Barry. He really is beautiful, and Derek takes it all in; the way his hair flutters in the salty breeze, the way his skin shines almost silver under the moonlight. His eyes are big and warm, and Derek feels so exposed under his gaze. But it's okay. He even likes it.

"I like-- " Derek doesn't even know what he means to say, because he gets distracted by the curve of Barry's smile and he finds himself leaning in, slowly closing the distance between them. "I like you."

He reaches up and puts a hand on Barry's cheek, thumbing at his jaw as he leans in close enough for their noses to brush. Their mouths are so close and Derek waits, just long enough to listen to Barry's hummingbird heart seem to trip over itself and start again double time, before pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his mouth.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry closes his hand over Derek's wrist, not holding him back but merely holding on, anchoring himself when his heart begins to race, Derek's face so close now that he can feel his breath against his cheek. Derek leans in, and Barry closes his eyes just before their lips meet, overwhelmed with everything he's feeling but so, so happy. It's been so long since anyone touched him like this, his moments with Patty few and fleeting, something stolen and undeserved, but this feels nothing like that.

Barry sighs, his lips parting beneath Derek's own, and holds on tight, allowing himself the small freedom of letting himself enjoy this, enjoy Derek, this kind, gentle man who listens to everything Barry has to say, who accepts him and all he can do, who's brought him out here to one of his favorite spots just to spend more time with him.

Barry makes a little sound, and though the kiss is still a simple one, he clutches at Derek's shirt as if to keep him.

[triskehale]

Derek was expecting the kiss to be chaste and brief, or-- he doesn't know what he was expecting, really. Derek's pulse pounds against Barry's fingertips where they rest against his wrist and his belly tightens in anticipation. When their lips meet it isn't fireworks like everyone says, and that's a good thing. Fireworks are violent bursts of flame that while beautiful, are so incredibly fleeting. This is like something else, something just as exciting but comfortable and warm. This is something that could possibly last.

Barry makes a soft sound and Derek smiles a little into the kiss, finding it impossible to pull away. He does, but it's only to kiss him again at a better angle. He slides his hand up and around to the back of Barry's neck, drawing him in closer. It feels a little like it did to kiss Paige when he was fifteen, when he was young and he was only nervous because this one matters. Barry matters.

Barry's hand rests against Derek's chest and he raises his other hand to hold it there while he deepens the kiss just a little, just enough to suck lightly at Barry's bottom lip before finally pulling away. He stares at Barry for a long moment, eyes bright and happy, before he looks down and laughs .

"Sorry Wolfy," he says in a quiet voice, turning the wolf around before leaning in to press his smile to the corner of Barry's mouth.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry laughs aloud, feeling giddy, smiling even when Derek's mouth returns to his own. His hand is pressed to Derek's chest, Derek's body beneath his shirt almost unfairly firm and burning like a furnace, and Barry can hardly believe he's allowed this. He's always enjoyed being around Derek, and he's thought about him often when he's out of sight, but to actually be here with him and allowed to touch him is something else.

"You're - " Barry starts but stops, afraid he'll embarrass himself, or worse, make Derek feel objectified, but God, he's really firm. Barry laughs again, soft and disbelieving against Derek's lips, catching them in another kiss soon after. His bottom lip still tingles where Derek's trapped it briefly between his own, and Barry breaks away to rest his forehead against Derek's.

"I really hope you want to do this again," he says. "I like you, too. I mean, that's probably obvious. I like you a lot."

[triskehale]

Derek swallows hard as Barry presses their foreheads together, finding the simple act so tender. He isn't used to being treated like this, and he has to close his eyes and take a breath as he keeps his hands on the sides of Barry's neck, swiping his thumb lightly over his fluttering pulse.

Words seem to come so easily to Barry, and Derek finds it amazing that he can still wear his heart on his sleeve like that after everything that he's been through. Derek was never strong enough for that. He closed himself off and stoked his anger like a fire, feeding off of the flames for years. His throat closes up and for a moment he's worried that his stupid brain won't let him speak, but finally he manages it. A few sarcastic jokes spring to mind like an automatic reflex, but Barry deserves better than that.

"Of course I want to do this again," he tells him honestly, pressing a kiss to one of the moles on Barry's jaw before dragging his lips lightly to another one and kissing that too. "Soon, and hopefully often."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Often," Barry repeats, grinning widely before his eyes close, his eyebrows lifting in surprise for the kisses to his jaw. No one's ever paid much attention to his moles before other than Barry himself, and that was mostly to lament them in the mirror. Now it's as if they're a livewire to the bundle of nerves in his stomach, making his heart leap for every press of Derek's lips.

"I'd really like often," he says, dragging his eyes open. "What's your schedule like? I guess you're working late most nights at Semele's?"

[triskehale]

"We can do often," Derek agrees, smiling as he noses behind Barry's ear. It may be kind of a stereotype, but Derek does have a thing for necks. It's like everything that makes up a person is concentrated into one vulnerable, attractive spot and Derek presses an open-mouthed kiss to Barry's pulse, feeling it practically vibrate against his lips as he inhales the scent of him. It's a bit dizzying, and Derek kisses another cluster of moles before finally tearing himself away and sitting up to look at him.

"I'm never actually on the schedule at Semele's," Derek tells him once he recovers enough to think. "I own it, and I am in there helping out a lot, but I have two assistant managers who keep the place running at night. I do the inventory and the schedule on Monday afternoons, and then really only if I'm bored or they get slammed."

He leans in to give Barry soft little kisses while he thinks, just because he wants to. "And then I have the truck Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons," he says, practically against the corner of Barry's mouth. "And Thursday and Friday nights until about midnight." He grins and kisses the dip just under Barry's bottom lip. "You can come help me eat all the leftover food."