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[thescarletspeedster]

They'd laughed about it.

Ridiculous villains are a dime a dozen in Darrow, which would be worrying if they weren't all so preposterous, but this one had been above the pack. Pontificating endlessly, making sweeping declarations while shooting his gun - in the end, it had almost worked. Barry had been so bored during Villain Speech #38 that he'd nearly missed the gun cocking, and when he finally intercepted the dart, he'd had no choice but to let it sink into his fingertip.

The poison inside - as declared by Mouthy Villain - was meant to erase a person's mind, but Barry felt nothing at all, turning in the next moment to finally wrap him up in the poles of several traffic signs to leave him on the sidewalk for the authorities, his gun speed cannoned down to mulch. It had been a long, silly evening's work, but now the Flash and the Alpha are free to indulge in a few dozen burgers.

Barry's just finishing his sixth when his head begins to swim, the usual telltale sign of Not Enough Calories. "Can I get another six burgers with extra cheese?" Barry calls towards the kitchen, who are so used to it he doesn't wait for answer. The world lurches again, and Barry blinks, pushing from the booth to his feet.

Maybe he needs more than six? Maybe he needs...

Something.

He stood up for something.

He can't remember.

Where is he again?

"Why - " he starts, staring hard at the ground as it suddenly rushes upwards to meet him.

Comments

[triskehale]

It’s hard to be at all intimidated by a villain so cartoonish, so Derek is practically bored right up until the moment he sees a dart sticking out of Barry’s finger. His stomach lurches as panic threatens to take over, but nothing happens. Barry is fine, shaking it off and taking care of the bad guy in one fell swoop.

Barry assures him that he’s fine, once right after it happens and again after they’ve changed and Derek has patted him down and sniffed him all over, searching for any damage. Perhaps whatever was in the dart was a dud, or Barry’s metabolism is too fast for it to have any hope of working. Still, it was a close call, so Derek sticks close to Barry’s side for the rest of the evening.

“You’re going to put me out of business,” Derek teases after Barry calls out another order, laughing a little as he reaches for his beer. But then Barry is sliding dazedly from the booth, suddenly reeking of confusion, and Derek’s brow furrows in concern.

“Barry? Whoa, hey—“ Barry’s knees suddenly give out and Derek is out of the booth before he can hit the ground, catching him and turning him over in his arms. Derek’s heart starts to pound, and he reaches up to lightly pat Barry’s cheek. “Come on, hummingbird. What’s going on?”

[thescarletspeedster]

Wherever he's drifting is warm and comfortable, and he never wants to leave. His brow furrows, and he does his best to stay, floating in solid, warm arms, but the noise is impossible to deny. It's nonsensical, cries of hummingbird and Barry incomprehensible to his ears, but there's an urgency in that voice that he can't deny.

He blinks opens his eyes, staring into hazeled green. "What? Sorry." This must be the most handsome face he's ever seen, and he has no idea how it is he's seeing it. "What?"

[triskehale]

Barry’s heart slows the slightest bit and then speeds up again when he opens his eyes, and Derek breathes out a sigh of relief. Barry looks a little dazed, but he’s awake. That’s a good thing.

“Okay, back up,” Derek says, shooing away the small crowd that’s gathered before lifting Barry easily into his arms. He heads for his office, gently easing Barry through the door and kicking it shut before setting him down on the sofa in the corner.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Derek asks quietly, crouching down at Barry’s side and resting a hand on his chest. “You gotta talk to me.”

[thescarletspeedster]

He can't help clinging to the man's shoulders as he's lifted. He's pretty sure he can walk just fine, but he doesn't know where he would go. He doesn't know where they're going now, and when he's placed onto the sofa he draws his legs up. He just needs a moment to think, to remember how he got here and where here is, but the man crouches in front of him, looking at him with the kindest eyes.

His mouth opens despite his worries. "I'm not sure what's happening. I don't...know where I am."

[triskehale]

Derek watches as Barry curls in on himself, drawing away from Derek instead of closer, and panic starts to buzz in his chest. He keeps his face as neutral as he can and when he reaches out to curl his hand gently around Barry’s knee, it’s to try and convince himself that he’s reading the whole situation wrong.

But then Barry speaks, and the buzzy panic gets louder until Derek is staring at Barry with a sort of tunnel vision, and there’s a ringing in his ears that refuses to subside until he takes a few deep breaths.

“We’re in my office at Semele’s,” Derek offers quietly, drawing out his denial for a few more moments. Maybe Barry is just confused. Maybe he just needs a moment and he’ll be fine. “We— we were just about to go home.”

[thescarletspeedster]

The man suddenly looks as scared as he feels, and he almost wants to take it back, but he can't. His heart pounds so hard it feels like it's trying to vibrate out of his chest, and he closes his hand over the man's on his knee, wishing he could radiate that comforting warmth back.

"I don't know what that means," he confesses, feeling his eyes go hot as frustration and fear take their grip. "Where is home? I don't know how I got here, I don't - I don't know anything. Please, can you help me? Take me to the police or something?"

[triskehale]

Derek has to close his eyes for a moment to try and calm himself, knowing that his irises are ruby red with panic and Barry won’t know what that means. Barry doesn’t know anything, and Derek tries very hard not to fly into a rage. Not at Barry, of course, but at this city for ripping everything away from him.

The lack of recognition in Barry’s eyes might even be more painful than him disappearing completely. Derek quickly shakes off the thought because Barry is still here, and as long as he’s here, there has to be a solution. There is no other option.

Once Derek is sure that he won’t lose his control, his eyes open again and he stares at Barry, willing himself to stay calm. Barry needs him to be calm.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll help you,” Derek assures him, proud of the way that his voice wavers only slightly. He turns his hand over in Barry’s knee and curls his fingers around Barry’s as he nods reassuringly, portraying an easy sort of confidence that he doesn’t feel. “You are the police. Well, kind of. Here.”

Barry’s jacket is still hanging over Derek’s desk chair after dropping it there earlier, so Derek keeps one hand on Barry and reaches over with the other to fish out his wallet. He flips it open to show Barry both his Darrow ID and his badge, handing it over so he can look for himself.

“I’m— I’m Derek,” he says, fighting against the startling urge to burst into tears. Instead he maintains his composure as best he can and gives Barry a watery smile. “You know me, and I won’t stop until you remember everything, okay?”

[thescarletspeedster]

The man looks so sad he wants to take it back, but of course he can't. He's completely helpless, even to help this man, and his heart clenches as the man takes his hand. His warmth is reassuring, and he tries very hard to believe him. It will be okay, it has to be. At least he's lost his memory around someone kind.

He watches with a furrowed brow as the man - Derek - reaches into his jacket to produce an ID. He turns it over curiously in his hands. He's police?? Or no, a CSI, apparently, which is cool. With a start he lifts his eyes to read his name, and -

"Bartholomew? For real?" The situation is terrible, but he needs to get one thing straight. "Please tell me I don't go by Bart."

[triskehale]

That actually startles a laugh out of Derek and he shakes his head a little as he leans in to look at the ID. Barry smells stressed and scared but he seems to be keeping a level head, at least.

“You go by Barry,” Derek tells him. “I always assumed that you had to have been named after someone special. When you get your memories back, I’ll ask.”

Derek blows out a breath and pulls himself to his feet, scrubbing a hand over his face. He can feel the warm metal of his engagement ring against his skin and he swallows hard. Just this morning they were debating over whether or not to have one giant cake with one flavor or a group of smaller cakes all different flavors, laughing and rolling around in bed, and now Barry doesn’t even know who he is, much less than he’s engaged.

“You’re Barry Allen, only son of Henry and Nora. You’re twenty-nine, and you work in forensics,” Derek says, reeling off the basics as he tries to figure out what to do. “We were just having burgers here— this is my bar— and suddenly you couldn’t remember anything. And now we’re here.”

[thescarletspeedster]

Bartholomew - Barry's - eyebrows climb as Derek rattles off facts. They don't mean much to him - even the mention of his mother and father calls up nothing, but it's clear that they know each other well. This could all be some sort of trick, of course, and Derek's not the kind soul he seems, but Barry rejects that idea almost at once. For whatever reason, he trusts him.

"Something in the food, somehow?" he asks, thinking aloud. "Like I was roofied...but no, I'm much too coherent for that, and drugs can't take the whole of someone's memory. It has to be something else."

Confounded, Barry looks back at Derek. "You smell familiar. Is that weird?"

[triskehale]

“We live in a pretty weird place. Strange things happen here all the time,” Derek admits, thinking of the dart that pricked Barry’s finger earlier. He’ll have to go down to the station and find that guy to ask him some questions. He better hope that he’s locked away in a cell, where Derek can’t rip his throat out.

Derek’s head jerks up and he stares at Barry, clinging to that admission with all the hope that he has. If anything is familiar to him at all, that’s a good sign. He actually smiles, rubbing at his jaw before sitting next to Barry on the sofa.

“It’s not weird. Our scents are probably mixed together. I mean, we do share a house.” He hadn’t wanted to say too much too soon and freak Barry out, but maybe he should be trying to jog his memory. After a moment of deliberation, Derek reaches over to take Barry’s hand, the one that he hadn’t been holding earlier, and stretches out his fingers. The ring on his finger matches Derek’s, and he holds his hand out next to Barry’s so he can see them both. “And a bed.”

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry smiles reflexively when Derek does. He can't help it, he doesn't really know him, but Derek's smile is so gorgeous, and it makes Barry feel better to know he's happy. But then he mentions their home - they're that close? - and turns his hand over to display his ring.

That matches Derek's.

Barry's mouth falls open. "Are we married?" he asks. He'd only gotten a short look at the photo on his ID, and he hadn't been ugly or anything, but...holy shit. For real? There must be something amazing about Barry he hasn't puzzled out yet, because he has no idea how he landed anyone as handsome and kind as the man sitting next to him. Barry's voice shakes. "Are you my husband?"

[triskehale]

Even though Derek hadn’t really expected Barry to recoil at the idea, since he must be fundamentally the same person, it’s still a relief to see his reaction. He blows out a relieved breath and gives Barry a smile that’s hopelessly fond, endlessly adoring, and reserved for him alone.

“Not yet, but that’s the plan,” Derek tells him, reaching over to let the pad of his thumb glide across Barry’s ring. “We’ve been engaged for awhile now.”

He wants to lean and and touch Barry, find reassurance in a kiss, but he doesn’t think that would be the wisest idea. Barry doesn’t remember him or anything about their relationship, and Derek doesn’t want to take any liberties. At least Barry doesn’t seem to mind holding hands, because Derek isn’t sure he could resist touching him completely.

“You mean the world to me, Barry,” Derek tells him with quiet sincerity. “We’re a team. We’re family, you and me, and we’re going to figure this out together. No matter what.”

[thescarletspeedster]

As intense as it all is, Barry is disappointed that they're only almost husbands, and wonders what they're waiting for. Especially when Derek looks at him like that, with a face cracked open. He leans forward despite himself, fascinated and pleased that even if his mind doesn't remember, his body sure seems to. But like Derek, Barry stops himself.

"You're going to have to explain to me how on earth I deserve you," he says, his eyes a little hot after that short speech. "Will you tell me more about you? I hate that I don't know anything. I'm really sorry, Derek, for all of this."

[triskehale]

Barry leans and Derek’s breath catches, heart pounding almost like it’s the first time all over again, but he stops himself and Derek smiles softly. He leans in to brush a kiss against Barry’s cheek and then sits back, frowning a bit at Barry’s question.

“Of course I deserve you,” he says adamantly, giving Barry’s hand a squeeze. “You’re an incredible person, Barry. You make me happy in a way that I didn’t even think was possible.”

Barry’s eyes go a bit shiny and the corner of Derek’s mouth quirks up as he cups Barry’s cheek, thumbing gently under his eye. “You don’t have to apologize. This isn’t your fault. We’re going to figure it out.”

He pauses at the question, unsure of where to even begin. “I’m Derek Hale, third child of Talia and David, also twenty-nine. And I’m one hell of a chef, according to you.”

The heavier stuff can wait a bit, as can the fact that he’s a werewolf. Derek wonders if Barry even knows that he has powers. “Do you want me to take you home? Maybe being somewhere so familiar will help. It’ll be easier to talk there.”

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry curls his hand around Derek's wrist, leaning into the touch to his cheek. He believed Derek already, but if he hadn't, the way he feels when Derek touches him is more than proof. He's calm when the situation says he has no right to be, completely comfortable in the faith that between them, they will figure this out.

"Well," he says, smacking his lips a little, "I am tasting something great I ate recently, so I stand by it." It's enough to make his stomach rumble, but he does want to go home, even if he won't recognize it. "Home would be good. Is it far?"

[triskehale]

Grim determination has always come easily to Derek, but it’s Barry who taught him plucky optimism. It’s Barry’s influence that has Derek believing that everything will work out in the end.

“Uh, not too far,” Derek replies. Barry usually has them home in the blink of an eye, and when he’s on his own Derek can get there pretty fast, but he doesn’t think either of them should be using their speed right now. “Far enough to take a cab. We live in a cabin I renovated. It’s kind of tucked away.”

He stands up and hands Barry his coat before pulling his phone out of his pocket. The ride share app isn’t too familiar to him because again, he usually travels by speed force, but he’s able to request a car. Once they have their coats on, Derek offers Barry his hand and leads them out of the office. Kira is suddenly right there looking concerned, but thankfully she says nothing.

“Six burgers each. I figured you would want them to go,” she says, holding up a large take out bag in each hand.

“Thanks,” Derek says as he takes them. “I probably won’t be around tomorrow, so I leave it in your capable hands.”

He leads Barry outside, brow furrowed thoughtfully as they wait for the car. “We have two cats. One’s an angel and the other is a hellbeast. The Christmas tree is up. We chopped it down last week. Elvis has tried to knock it down twice. That’s the hellbeast.”

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry can't help smiling. "I'm a cat person?" He drifts closer to Derek on the sidewalk, not completely understanding how he's summoned a ride with his phone, but not questioning it either. "The cabin sounds really nice, " he says. "Cozy." He can definitely see how he loves sharing it with Derek, even if it is a bit outside of the city.

He cranes his neck, looking up at the buildings all around them, but they might as well be the deep jungle for all the recognition each spire provokes. When he looks back, his eyes stray towards the bag of burgers. He can still taste one in his mouth, so how is he this ravenous? "I think I...eat a lot," he says, looking down at his mysteriously trim middle. "Or am I getting over being sick?"

[triskehale]

“Yeah, but you also have an affinity for certain canines,” Derek says easily, smiling at his private joke. His arm slides around Barry’s waist on instinct, and Derek watches as Barry looks around curiously. “It’s called Darrow. The city, I mean.”

He doesn’t want to keep anything from Barry and certainly doesn’t plan to, but he thinks it might be better to give him information in increments, starting with the mundane and working their way out to the utterly bizarre. Unfortunately, most things in their life seems to fall into the second category.

“You really do eat a lot. It’s sort of a— condition? It’s okay, though,” Derek says as a car pulls up to the curb. He pulls open a door and ushers Barry in. “I’ll explain better once we’re home.”

It’s not a very long drive, but Derek has to reassure the driver twice that they’re going the right way once he’s directed onto the unlit dirt road that leads to the cabin. He shuffles Barry out and watches the driver back out, tapping at his phone to leave him a big tip before extracting his keys.

“This is it,” Derek says, gesturing at the front of the cabin before stepping onto the porch and unlocking the door. He’s absurdly nervous as he leads Barry inside, and busies himself with unloading the food onto the coffee table. Jinx trots up to Barry and headbutts his leg, and Derek smiles reassuringly. “That’s the angel. Here, come have another burger.”

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry frowns, displeased to hear he has a condition. He'd thought the off feeling preventing him being completely comfortable in his skin was all amnesia, but perhaps there's a physiological reason, too. He follows Derek into the cabin, smiling despite himself. It's cozy even from the outside, warmly lit, and when he steps inside he can't help thinking that it smells of home, even if he can't recall ever being here before.

A cat rubs his leg, and Barry leans down to lift it into his arms. "Hello, Not Elvis," he says, accepting a soft headbutt to his chin before he puts the cat down again. The sight of the burger makes him so ravenous that he nearly stumbles on his way to the table, but in his defense he doesn't know how he got so close to the coffee table so fast. "I feel like I could eat an entire pack of butter and still be hungry."

[triskehale]

“Jinx,” Derek offers, watching fondly as Barry picks her up. The Christmas tree jiggles ominously, and Derek rolls his eyes. “I’ll give you one guess where the other one is.”

The puff is in its cage, but Derek figures that one might fall into the more bizarre category, so he decides to wait on that introduction for a bit. Barry speeds over to the table and Derek smiles softly. Barry’s heart is still thrumming away, so Derek was never worried that he had lost his speed, but Barry still doesn’t seem to realize what he’s capable of.

“Please don’t eat butter. If you’re still hungry after this, I’ll make you something,” Derek offers, patting the sofa next to him and sliding over a burger that’s made just how Barry likes it. “Here, eat. Are you cold? I could build a fire.”

He and Barry are usually so in sync, and Derek hates the feeling of floundering around him, trying to guess what he might need, but he’ll do whatever he can do keep Barry calm. To keep them both calm. “I run a lot hotter than you, so I can never really tell.”

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry's not cold, but he nods with a bright smile for the fire anyway. It just sounds so cozy, just like the cabin itself. It must be an incredible home, and Barry's heart aches that he can't recall any of it. So many people pine for this kind of life and never get it - Barry did and he can't even remember it, and it all feels like such an unfair waste.

He sits down and reaches for the burger, moaning a little when he bites into it. "I'm not trying to be an ass," he says around his mouthful, "But getting to experience these burgers for the first time is almost worth the amnesia." Barry swallows and takes another huge bite. "This is your recipe, isn't it?" Derek only said he owned the bar, but burgers like these only come from a labor of love. He doesn't need his memory to know that much. "Have you always been a chef?"

[triskehale]

"Sure thing," Derek says as he stands up, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of Barry's head on instinct. He pauses as he pulls away, hovering awkwardly for a moment before standing up straight. "Uh-- sorry."

He hustles outside to grab some wood, piling logs up in one arm before carrying them back inside. Barry is already heavily involved with a burger, and Derek smirks as he crouches down to start building a fire. "Almost, huh?"

The question makes Derek glad that his back is to Barry, because he can't help but to let his face fall. Every thing that Derek worked so hard to open up and tell Barry, every dark, sad secret, has all been wiped away.

"Yeah, it's my recipe," Derek replies, turning to grab the lighter from the small table near the sofa. "My dad taught me to cook, but I haven't always been a chef. It's more of a recent development. Steak and potatoes is my specialty. Maybe I'll make that tomorrow. I always was able to woo you with food."

[thescarletspeedster]

"That sounds amazing," says Barry, glad that Derek isn't looking at him, for there's no way he'd be able to hide the shift in his expression when Derek shies from kissing his head. He doesn't blame him, of course, he can't imagine how hard this must be for Derek, to have his almost husband suddenly forget everything about them.

He takes another, more subdued bite of his burger. "Well, you're an incredible chef," he says. "I can taste how much you love it, if that makes sense. I'm really glad you made a career of it, it can be a brutal industry."

Barry blinks. How unfair is it that he knows that but not Derek? "Do I help out there, too? I think I'd want to be near to you as much as possible."

[triskehale]

"You think so, huh?" Once Derek gets the fire going, he stands up and sits back down on the sofa next to Barry, close enough that their thighs brush as Derek plucks a few fries from his own take out box. "You help eat everything, that's for sure."

He bumps their shoulders together and smiles softly, watching as Barry takes another huge bite. "I have the bar and the restaurant and you have your CSI work, but we have a hobby that keeps us together a lot."

Derek bites his lip and looks out the window for a long moment, debating how much he should tell Barry tonight. "Actually, we should go outside. I want to show you something."