(no subject)

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry's exhausted when he finally leaves the office. He's used to long hours, but the cases he worked on today were particular gruesome, and all he can think about when he clocks out is getting home. He stops by Carol's desk on his way out, reclaiming the cardigan he'd let her borrow earlier when she wouldn't stop circling his desk, complaining about being cold.

He accepts it and a short kiss to his cheek, waving goodbye to her and everyone as he hurries out the door. He heads directly to the alley to hide his burst of speed, and then Barry is off, pausing at short junctures so that his clothes don't catch fire. Still, he's at the cabin in less than a minute, following the sounds of an ax to the back yard. "Hey!" Barry calls, equal parts hungry and tired. Normally he keeps careful track of the full moon, but he doesn't even notice it overhead when he calls to Derek. "I'm gonna start dinner!"

Comments

[triskehale]

It's hard to tell just what kind of mood that Derek will be in for the full moon until it actually arrives, hanging bright and fat overhead and plucking at his nerves like the strings of a violin. He's used to being antsy and irritated under the moon, quick to anger and melancholy. Anger was his anchor for so long, after all.

They've been better lately, now that they're spent with Barry. He's always tense until the moon rises high in the sky, and Barry is there to unwind him. Today, it's worse than usual. Work was awful, thanks mostly to a delivery trunk that flipped over on the snow, spilling all of Derek's meat and produce for the next week all over the slushy roadway. His contact at the bank kept calling him about his loan and if he hears the word paperwork one more time tonight, he may lose it.

Even Jinx doesn't want to be around him, huddling under the bed and hissing at Derek when he ducked down to refill her food bowl. He growls right back and sends her puffing up into a gigantic ball of fur, and it's the realization that he's fighting with his cat that sends him outside to chop wood.

It's still snowing and Derek doesn't even put on a jacket. His skin feels like it's burning, and slamming an ax down into blocks of food helps his grated nerves. Barry's speed means that he's the only person who can sneak up on Derek, and he proves it by suddenly calling out to him while Derek is mid-swing. It startles him, when nothing should be able to startle him, and the ax slips enough that a large splinter lodges itself in the meat of Derek's palm. He hisses and lets the ax clatter to the snowy ground.

The tightness in his chest relaxes a little at the sight of Barry, even as he digs the splinter out of his hand with a claw and sucks at the bead of blood until the wound heals. He turns to follow Barry into the house and out of the cold, watching the long line of his back. Once the door is shut and they're inside the small space, warmed by the fire, a scent hits Derek's nose. It's cheap perfume, all fake chemical flower scent, and Derek sneezes so hard that his eyes shift with it.

"What," he says flatly, feeling the fiery tightness in his chest return.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry winces as the ax falls, but Derek is turned and heading towards the cabin, so he doesn't think it's anything too terrible. He's shoulders deep in the fridge by the time Derek's inside, pondering steaks versus pizza versus burgers, but Barry pokes his head out when Derek sneezes.

"Are you sick?" he asks, closing the refrigerator door to come feel Derek's forehead. "Is that even possible?"

[triskehale]

"I'm not sick," Derek growls out, and his stomach drops when Barry comes closer. He reaches out to touch Derek's forehead and suddenly he's drowning in the scent of female attraction. It's so strong that he physically recoils, stumbling backwards and heaving a breath. "You-- why do you smell like you were rolling around in that girl?"

The wolf inside of him is howling so possessively, and Derek feels like he's in pain.

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry stares in shock when Derek actually jerks away from him. He lowers his hand, brow furrowing as he sorts through that bizarre question. "Rolling in what now?" he asks. Derek's nose is twitching, though, which finally gives Barry a clue.

"Carol?" he says. "One of our new secretaries. She was cold so I let her borrow my sweater." Barry frowns. "I didn't roll in her."

[triskehale]

"Yeah, I've seen her. She wants you," Derek spits out. He doesn't even need to be a wolf to see that. "She scent marked you."

If it were any day but today, Derek might have grumpily accepted his explanation. Even now, in the muted human part of his brain, he's aware that he's being irrational. But the wolf is in charge now, and it's all instinct.

If this Carol was a wolf, what she did would be considered a direct challenge. Barry is his, and Derek wants to hunt her down and make sure she knows it.

There's a smudge of red on Barry's cheek, and Derek reaches out to wipe it away with trembling fingers. His thumb comes away stained with color, and a growl rumbles up from deep in his chest. The wolf lets out a whine, low and hurt and angry.

"It's the full moon," Derek grits out. "And you came home scent marked by someone who wants you."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Don't growl at me!" Barry bites back, unnerved by Derek's unusual display of anger. He's seen it before, but never directed at him. He doesn't understand what Derek's even doing until his thumb comes away red, and Barry blushes, suddenly defensive.

"I'm sorry I forgot it was the full moon," he snaps, "But she didn't mark me, Derek, humans don't do that. And besides, what was I going to say? 'I'm sorry you're cold but it's the full moon and you can't have my sweater'?" Barry folds his arms across his chest.

"That's nuts!"

[triskehale]

"I'm not human!" Derek shouts back, feeling shivery angry and defensive himself. It's awful, because he's dimly aware that he's being ridiculous, but the less rational part of himself is hurt that Barry didn't consider what this would do to him, foolish as it is. It's the full moon, and he just forgot. "You can't expect me to act human, especially tonight, because I'm not. That's-- it's like she's challenging me."

His mouth snaps shut because sometimes, in his weakest moments, he still remembers hearing those words. You're too intense. I can't do this. They haunt him, swirling around in a sea of painful memories, and they make him afraid to be himself.

Barry is angry and it warms his scent, mixing it strongly with Carol's, and Derek's eyes go red. He breathes through his mouth and takes a few steps away, doing his best to get himself under control.

But his control is on the other side of the room glaring at him, and Derek can feel the moon tugging at him. His gums and fingertips itch and he wants to go find that girl. He wants to pin Barry down and rut against him until he doesn't smell like anyone else. He wants to shift and run away and hide his face in the snow. Fucking Carol.

[thescarletspeedster]

"I know you're not human!" Barry shouts back, half to be heard over Derek's own heaving breaths. Despite the angry beat of his heart, he almost feels like he's watching himself have this strange fight, confused but unable to just stand there and take it while Derek yells at him.

"But she is, and there's no way she was challenging you. I'm sorry I didn't think about it but it's been a long, horrible day, and I just wanted her to stop whining by my desk so I could finish my work and come here." There's a prickling behind his eyes, fatigue and hunger and now this unexpected fight threatening to make him emotional, but Barry's not going to fucking cry. "Just - calm down, okay?"

[triskehale]

"Can you at least take of the damn sweater?" Derek hears himself say, slightly horrified by his own tone of voice. All he wanted all day was to lose himself in Barry, to maybe shift and feel Barry's fingers in his fur and finally feel calm. But instead there's this.

He hears Barry's cracking plea, smells the barest tang of salt water, and jerks like he's been slapped.

This is all so awful. He takes a breath and turns around looking ashamed of himself, nose wrinkling at the stench that he's forcing himself to ignore. "Barry, I-- I'm sorry."

He's quiet for a moment, fidgeting as he forces himself not to think about how he can feel the moon on his back through the window. He does take a step back to open it, letting cool air rush in and dampen the smell that's threatening to drive him crazy. "I don't think you realize how much of nights like this depend on you. How much I depend on you. And-- and that isn't fair to you."

Despite it all, he's a little proud of himself for standing here and saying what he feels instead of running away.

[thescarletspeedster]

Derek turns and opens a window like the smell is actually making him ill - it probably even is, a fact that Barry ignores in favor of stomping over to the washing machine. He pulls off the cardigan and dumps it inside, then his shirt and his jeans and even his boxers, lest the offending smell somehow be there too, and starts the wash.

It's hard to feel righteous in the nude, however, so Barry speeds himself into a pair of pajamas and returns to find a far more contrite looking Derek. "You got through one of these a month before me," he says, shivering faintly as cold air rushes in from the window. "I know you didn't go around snarling at people all the time. That's not you."

[triskehale]

He just stands there while Barry strips and starts the washer, feeling a nauseating mixture of relieved and embarrassed. He's fidgety and nervous, wound far too tight, and and he actually huffs out a painful sounding laugh when Barry is in front of him looking soft and concerned in his worn pajamas. Derek can still smell Carol, but it's less offensive now. He feels like he can breathe.

"You'd be surprised. Going around snarling at people was pretty much what I was known for," Derek says glumly, thinking of his time in Beacon Hills. "Everyone hated me back home." His face sort of crumples at just how true the statement is, shoulders slumping. Back in Beacon Hills, there isn't a single person who loved him. Or even really cared about him beyond not letting him bleed out in a parking lot. "Really, everyone."

Barry shivers and Derek takes a step back to slide the window shut again, shifting his weight and rolling his shoulders like he can shake off the antsy feeling. "I was so angry all the time. But I needed to be. That was my anchor, the anger. I needed it."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Then Beacon Hills sucked!" Barry returns. "Like, more than most cities." And that's true. Every tale he's ever heard of the place has been about crazy, jerk teenagers and psycho hunters. Barry wraps his arms around himself again, tentative still about coming closer. Maybe Carol's scent is in his hair, he doesn't know. At this point, he has no idea what will and won't set Derek off again.

"You don't get angry like that here," he says. "At least, not very often. And you were okay through all the full moons that I saw. The ones where I wasn't in the other Darrow, anyway," Barry adds feebly, dropping his arms.

"So is that it, then? Are you going to be angry all night to stay anchored? Because that sounds like a pretty shitty evening for both of us."

[triskehale]

Derek nearly cracks a smile at Barry's exclamation because yeah, it kind of sucked. It didn't always, but definitely there at the end. He was literally running for his life when he landed in Darrow instead of on a set of claws, and sometimes he feels a little like Darrow saved his life.

He watches as Barry wraps his arms around himself, skinny and beautiful and unsure, eyes shining widely in the low light of the cabin. A fire is roaring because he knows how cold Barry always gets, and he reaches forward to lightly rest his hands on Barry's shoulders. He touches the sides of his neck, his cheeks, runs fingers through his hair. Shamelessly scents him, basically, because he needs that right now.

"No," Derek says roughly, swallowing hard as his cheeks flush with color. He steps backwards and takes a breath, reaching up to drag his fingers through his hair. "I still get angry, but that isn't my anchor anymore."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry relaxes slightly when Derek touches him. His hands are warm and soothe the ache in Barry's head, but they fall away all too soon. "Well, good then," says Barry. "I know you needed it at home, but that's a pretty crappy anchor, Derek."

And as Barry said, it's not Derek. Nothing about the snarling wolf he'd encountered moments ago feels like Derek. Derek is thoughtful and kind and gets pissy on occasion, but he's never mean. "So what is it now?"

[triskehale]

"Yeah, it was. Growing up, it was my family. But after--" He swallows hard again, shrugging helplessly. "Anger was the only thing that worked."

Barry's question is innocuous enough and for a moment Derek wonders how he could be so obtuse, but he just bites his lip and leads Barry to the sofa. He makes Barry sit down because he looks tired, but Derek continues to pace a little as he considers what to say.

"Anchors are a big deal for werewolves," Derek begins, heart thrumming somewhere just below the hollow of his throat. "Any werewolf who wants to remain tethered to their human side has to have one, or the wolf will take over on the full moon. They'll be forced to shift and they'll be nothing more than an animal."

Barry is watching him and he can feel the wolf calming, even as his human side remains a bundle of nerves. God, full moons suck sometimes.

"An anchor has to be something solid and real. Something important. An anchor is sort of everything to a wolf, especially during the full moon." After another few moments of pacing, Derek drops down onto the sofa next to Barry. "It's you, Barry. Sometime in the past year, you became my anchor."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry is worried as Derek continues to pace, but he does seem calmer now, so Barry draws his legs up beneath him and listens. He nods as Derek explains anchors again - he's heard it before, but somehow he's never realized how intensely they're needed. The thought of Derek completely taken over by the wolf inside him is intense.

He's pulled out of trying to imagine that when Derek drops down beside him. "Me?" asks Barry, blinking at him for a moment. "That's actually...really sweet," he says with a slow forming grin. He's not sure anyone's ever needed him the way Derek does - certainly no one's ever loved him this way - but he has questions. "What all does that mean?" he asks. "Do you need me to stay home on full moons now?"

[triskehale]

Derek doesn't realize that he's holding his breath until Barry reacts, and then he lets it all out like a deflating balloon while he processes it. Sweet wasn't what he was expecting, but it wasn't really Barry grinning at him either. It's good though, that Barry isn't freaking out, and Derek finds himself smiling back. That smile is contagious.

"No," Derek says, finally reaching out to take Barry's hand and thread their fingers together. "I mean, when I asked you to spend the full moons with me, it wasn't just because you're my anchor. You being around certainly helps, and I'd prefer it, but you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do."

Barry's fingers are still cold, so Derek brings his hand up so that he can press his lips to Barry's knuckles, nosing gently at the inside of his wrist to feel his pulse beating. "I'm sorry about earlier. Sometimes the moon is just more intense than others, and I had a really bad day. I just really wanted to see you, and then you came home smelling like someone else, and-- well, the wolf is an idiot sometimes. I didn't mean to upset you."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry pulls their joined hands into his lap, allowing the touch to soothe the rattled sensation in his chest. They fight so rarely, and he's more than glad to be on the other side of it. Seeing Derek behave as anything other than the kind, sensible man he knows him to be is disturbing, but then, Barry can't imagine constantly wrestling a wolf he can't escape.

"Why was it a bad day?" he asks, stroking his thumb over the back of Derek's hand. "Mine was pretty crappy, too," he adds. "Humans may not turn into werewolves, but the hospitals are always fullest on a full moon, and the police reports, too," he says with a rueful smile.

[triskehale]

"Sometimes it's hard to act like a person when the moon is full," Derek says softly, looking down at their joined hands. He feels terrible for snapping like that, but he thinks he's been forgiven. Too easily, probably, but Barry is nothing if not a good man. "I'm struggling so hard to keep control and everything is just-- it needles at you. It's like desperately wanting silence but everyone is screaming in your ear."

He's never tried to put the feeling into words before, but he wants Barry to understand. Not for pity, but just because he wants Barry to know him. "There was an accident because of the ice and the truck carrying all the food for Semele's overturned and spilled everything in the street. They'll replace it, but it'll take a few days and we're already running out of stuff."

A huff of laughter escapes him and he looks up to meet Barry's gaze, feeling honest and brave. "And I missed you. I always miss you."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Do you want me to go get more?" asks Barry, his forehead steepled in worry to think of those days without the food truck's income. "I've got plenty in savings since I moved out here and don't pay rent." He squeezes Derek's hand.

"I can stay home on full moons, too. I'm sure I can make up a reason. You're not the only werewolf in town, there's probably tons of excuses I can cycle through."

[triskehale]

"No, it's okay. I'll worry about it tomorrow," Derek replies, smiling softly at just how eager Barry is to help. He looks down at their joined hands, at Barry's slender fingers entwined with his own thicker, square tipped ones and he thinks yet again just how lucky he is to have Barry in his life.

"Just the nights," Derek says quietly, happy to have asked for something he needs. That's still new to him. "And-- and only if there isn't something more important going on. I'll be alright if you're not there, but it would be nice to have you. We have fun on full moons, don't we?"

He smiles a little, tugging Barry closer, but it is important for him to know that his control does not rest on Barry's shoulders. "I don't want this to be another burden for you to carry. If you're not there, I'll be fine. My control isn't dependent on you. Anchors are complicated."

[thescarletspeedster]

"It's not a burden," says Barry. "You're never going to be a burden, Derek, I promise. There's extra stuff to get used to sometimes, sure, but it's never going to change the way I feel about you."

Derek's tugging on him, and Barry shifts closer, leaning his shoulder against Derek's. "Just keep telling me what you need. If it's too much, and I doubt it will be, I'll tell you and we'll work it out."

[triskehale]

"Sometimes it feels like you couldn't possibly be real," Derek says quietly, turning to press his forehead to Barry's temple. It doesn't feel right that he should get to have this after everything he's done. Barry is so much more than he deserves. "The same goes for you, hummingbird. Just tell me what you need."

Derek inhales deeply, enveloping himself in Barry's earthy sweet scent. Instantly, he feels calmer. His shoulders relax and he reaches up to cup Barry's cheek, nosing at the opposite temple and tugging him closer. After a few moments of silence, Derek softly nips at the curve of his jaw. "Can we make out or did I totally ruin it?"

[thescarletspeedster]

"You didn't ruin anything," says Barry, closing his eyes for the stubbled nip to his jaw. He's tired from the day, but it only makes his skin more sensitive, and he gives a pleasant shiver. "If me running a hole to another dimension didn't ruin things, you never will," he promises.

Barry shifts, pushing Derek back into the cushions so he can climb into his lap, long legs spread to straddle him. "Tell you what I need, okay - I need you to kiss me. I've been thinking about it all day."

[triskehale]

Derek lets out a soft growl at that, because he doesn't want Barry to feel bad about what he did. He knows just how badly guilt can eat at a person, and he doesn't want that for Barry. He opens his mouth to try and say something, but the sight of Barry hovering over him makes him fall silent.

This is what he needs. Barry covering him, surrounding him. Barry's knees caging him in and crowding him back against the sofa. It should maybe feel stifling, too overwhelming with the moon so full, but with Barry it's perfect. He's anchoring him in every way possible, and Derek feels like he can finally breathe for the first time all day.

"I can do that," he says in a low rumble, lifting his head as his hands slide up Barry's back. There are still faint traces of that girl, of pink smeared across Barry's cheek, and Derek can't help the way he nuzzles against Barry's skin to leave his own scent behind. He's being obvious, he's sure, but once Barry is thoroughly scented, Derek drags him down to press their mouths together. It starts off sweet and slow, and he cradles the back of Barry's head as he licks into his mouth with a soft, needy whine.

[thescarletspeedster]

Derek takes his time, lips and beard sliding over Barry's cheeks long before he kisses him. When he does at last his tongue is warm, sliding along Barry's in a way he feels in his bones, and he exhales deeply into the kiss.

"What about," says Barry when he finally pulls back to breathe, lungs aching and lips sore, "You help me wash the rest of this scent off?"

[triskehale]

The kiss goes on for so long that Derek almost feels almost drugged, blinking sluggishly and letting out a quiet whine of protest when Barry pulls away. He looks obscene, lips bitten red and cheeks flushed. He looks alive and warm and Derek reaches for him, hands finding his shoulders and trying to pull him back in.

The suggestion makes him take pause, and the growl he lets out this time is a possessive one. Barry is appealing to the wolf in him, indulging in his possessive side, and Derek feels himself fall even more in love.

"Make you just smell like us?" Derek rumbles, barely verbal as he plucks at the buttons on Barry's shirt. "Mm, I want to blow you. Want you to come on my face. Will you?"

[thescarletspeedster]

"I was gonna say a shower," says Barry, breathless, "But wow, your idea is better." His dick, which was already deeply invested in proceedings goes fully hard with dizzying speed, and Barry clutches at Derek's shoulders as Derek works his buttons.

"So much better," Barry breathes. "Here?" he asks, brain kicking into overdrive as if to counter the massive migration of his blood southward, "Or in bed? Or in the shower? Multitask!"

[triskehale]

Barry reacts to the suggestion so beautifully, and Derek's nostrils flare as the scent of arousal saturates the air around them. Barry's voice washes over him, quick and excited, and Derek grins as he pulls him in for another kiss.

"Shower," he murmurs against Barry's mouth, nipping at his bottom lip and sliding his hands down to grab Barry's ass. He stands easily, lifting Barry and rubbing his beard against fair, creamy skin until it's red. It's cold in the bathroom, and Derek reaches out to turn on the hot water before setting Barry down on the sink and pushing his shirt off, tugging the undershirt over his head and tossing it aside. He ducks his head and trails kisses down his neck and chest, biting a mark just above his nipple.

"Shower, in which I blow you," Derek rumbles, tugging open Barry's pants with a growing urgency. His eyes flare red as he steps back to rid himself of his own clothes in a flurry of speed. "Come on, I wanna taste you."