(no subject)

[thescarletspeedster]

"Ye-urrrrgh."

As the sound he didn't even know he could make grinds its way out of his mouth, Barry slides down the wall, feeling a bit like a cartoon fly that's just gotten smacked with the swatter. He'd really thought this one would be simple. Crazy angry meta - yep. Done that. Explosive powers - sure! A couple of times. But a meta capable of forming a violently expanding energy field around themselves? That's new.

Due to the spherical shape of the energy blast, it's not one Barry can run around, either, only away from, which makes it hard to get to the meta to incapacitate him long enough to stop him from -

Barry shakes his head, for a moment too addled by his impact with the wall to remember the meta's scheme. Oh right, he thinks, staring up at the stone building, rob the bank, because why not? "Listen!" he calls, fighting down a burst of hysteria as he looks at the exploding man. Even if he hadn't had these telekinetic energy powers, the meta would look like a villain. His shirt is even striped. All he needs is a bag of gold with a dollar sign on it, and the look would be complete.

"There are innocent people here!" say Barry, motioning to the streets. "I know you don't want to hurt them, but I can't let you take that money."

"Fat chance," replies the meta with a snarl, and as he turns to the onlookers, Barry curses himself for giving him the idea. As the concussive energy expands outward from the meta, Barry runs, removing each onlooker from its path, but he can't keep doing this and catch the meta.

He hates when he has to choose.

Comments

[triskehale]

There's a commotion downtown that Derek can hear as he's walking to Semele's, and he makes his way there instead. There's a big, anxious smelling crowd near the bank and in the middle of it is Barry. Or, more accurately, it's The Flash out there facing off a huge guy with a mean face.

He gets to the front of the crowd just in time to see Barry flung against the wall, and panic flares in his chest. He nearly opens his mouth to call out, but he remembers himself and bites it back. The guy has some sort of power that Barry can't seem to get around, even with his speed, and Derek looks around as he tries to figure out how to help.

"Get out of here!" He calls to a group of straggling onlookers, waving his arms in irritation and then spinning on his heel to throw himself right into the fray.

"Hey!" He calls out, trying to provide a distraction as he runs right towards the guy with an angry growl. All it seems to do is get him thrown into a brick wall hard enough to crack it, but at least his attention is away from the idiots still standing around.

[thescarletspeedster]

Derek. It bursts from Barry's lungs, claws its way up his throat and beats at the backs of his teeth, his mouth clamped shut only just in time to stop himself from screaming it. He'd come out of nowhere to run right at the meta, and now he's - he's -

But Derek is moving, and Barry sags in relief, turning to face the meta again. Derek's bought him some time, and Barry runs at the meta full tilt, observing in the strange slow motion the world takes on when he's in the Speed Force as he gathers his power to him, sucks it in, in, in, and out in a slow blooming wave. Pausing his run, Barry vibrates instead, guessing at the frequency that will phase him through the blast wave.

A moment later he's bouncing off another wall. Right. Wrong frequency, then.

[triskehale]

Derek growls deeply as he watches Barry go flying again, and he wants to tear this guy apart. He wants to sink his claws into flesh, but that would require getting close enough to him to do so and that is apparently is impossible.

"Is that all you got?" Derek asks as he climbs to his feet, whistling like he would to a dog. "Come on, man."

Anger and fear twist in Derek's belly, and he's worried for Barry. He's worried that they won't be able to stop this man, and he'll wreak havoc. He's worried, but he won't stop trying.

He runs at the man from a different angle, waiting for him to gather his power, and then feints left when he throws it out. It doesn't do much good, really. The blast catches his side and sends him spiraling right into the ground. He slams hard into the asphalt, head connecting with a sharp crack, and he grits his teeth against the pain.

"You must be stupid," the guy says, and Derek looks up at him with a defiant expression as he pushes up onto his knees.

"No," he growls out, careful not to give into the urge to track Barry with his eyes. "Just persistent."

[thescarletspeedster]

Gathering himself from the opposite side of the street, Barry winces as Derek makes impact again. It's incredible what he can take, but knowing he can doesn't make it any easier for Barry to watch. And he's not the only one - if this goes on for much longer, if Derek shifts, there are far too many people here to see it.

On the ground, Derek is taunting the meta, and Barry seizes his chance. He runs forward in a crackle of lightning, and when the meta, perhaps sensing the disturbance in the air, fires off another pulse of energy, Barry vibrates, sailing through it this time as neatly as air. "Gotcha," he says with his arms around the meta, his eyes meeting Derek's for only a moment before he's gone, carrying the meta somewhere he can't hurt anyone again.

It takes longer than he'd like, but in less than a minute Barry is on the opposite end of the street in his jeans and a t-shirt, jogging hard to Derek. "Hey," he say, crashing to a knee in front of him. "How bad is it? Did he hurt you?"

[triskehale]

Derek breathes out when Barry gets his arms around the guy, and he nods when their eyes meet. Then there's a rush of air and Derek is alone, huffing out another breath as he drags himself into a siting position against the cracked brick. He's pretty sure he has a broken rib or two, and warm blood is trickling sluggishly down his temple. Not too bad, all things considered.

He has his arm wrapped protectively around his middle and he glares at the last few people watching him curiously and murmuring to each other. "Show's over. Get out of here."

The irritation must show on his face because they scatter moments before Barry comes back. And it is Barry this time, in his jeans and high tops, and Derek gives him a smile that's soft and so unlike how he was just glaring at those strangers.

"I'm okay," Derek assures him, reaching out to rest a hand on Barry's skinny knee while turning his head to show off the wound on his temple. "Already knitting back together, see?"

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry hisses, both for the wound and for the heads he can feel turning their way as it knits. He cups his hand over the gash and puts himself between Derek and prying eyes, holding out his other hand to help him up.

"We should get out of here before the cops come," he says. Barry doesn't want to get roped into working CSI on his own bustup, and neither does he want Derek to be ID'd as part of the struggle. It's just...less messy this way. "My place is closer. Are your ribs okay if I speed us there once we're off the street?"

[triskehale]

Derek frowns slightly when Barry covers his face, not quite understanding why. It sort of stings, actually. "Uh, yeah. I'm sure I'll be fine."

There's sort of an intensity in Barry's tone, but Derek did just get his bell rung pretty hard so maybe he's imagining it. He places his palm against the rough brick and stands with Barry's help, blinking against the sunshine.

"Whisk me away," Derek says once they're down an alley and away the crowd. He cocks his head suddenly, not unlike a dog, and he blinks a few times. "I hear sirens. Still far off, but they're coming."

[thescarletspeedster]

Just in time, then. Barry spares another second to check that Derek's pupils are even, then he gathers him in as gently as he can and takes off, taking the shortest route to his own apartment. In truth, between Derek's apartment and his cabin, Barry hasn't spent nearly as much time here as when he first arrived, but it still feels like home.

Barry relaxes slightly and deposits Derek on the couch. "Still good?" he asks, unable to fully shake the anxiety thrumming through him. "I can get ice for your ribs or your back if it's bruised."

[triskehale]

Derek relaxes back into the couch with a relived groan, but the moment doesn't last very long. Barry's heart is thrumming and he smells of anxiety, and he looks about ready to start pacing.

"I'll be fine," Derek says as he pulls himself into a sitting position. His whole torso is still pretty sore, but he has a full belly and he's healing quickly. He watches Barry for a moment before reaching out to wrap his fingers around Barry's wrist, thumb pressed gently against his pulse. "Barry, it's over. Everyone's fine. What's wrong?"

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry stills, but the itch doesn't go away. The meta is locked up, no one was seriously hurt, and the money is back in the bank, but Barry can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Pulling his wrist gently from Derek's grip, Barry sits on the cushions next to him, drawing his legs up as he frowns.

"I just - they all saw you," he says. "All those people, and you were growling and your eyes looked ready to - " Barry's hands make a gesture like a light coming on, to his mind the effect of Derek's eyes popping red. "And you saved them, no question, and they should be grateful, but I know people, Derek. They don't always act how they should."

[triskehale]

When Barry pulls his arm away, Derek feels a flush run through him. It's like embarrassment and confusion, and he blinks as he curls his fingers in and draws his hand back towards his side. He swallows hard as Barry sits next to him, frowning as he speaks.

"Believe me, I know that," Derek tells him, perhaps a bit defensively. He's seen exactly how horrible people can be. He swallows hard and rests his hands on his knees, fingertips digging in. He takes a breath, but his voice is still tight when he speaks. "I just wanted to help."

[thescarletspeedster]

"I know," Barry assures, curling towards Derek on the couch, "And I love that about you. It's what I've always loved about you, how much you care, all the things you'll do for other people without thought."

Barry swallows. "I just don't want them to target you. At home, I got to be pretty high profile, and the more attention there is on me, the more there will be on anyone who runs in to help me. That's all I mean."

[triskehale]

The words make Derek soften a little and he turns his head to look at Barry, quirking one corner of his mouth up for a brief moment. But then Barry keeps talking, and Derek tilts his head slightly as he listens. "Barry, I can take care of myself. And I'm not going to not help you if I think I can."

He reaches out to rest a hand on Barry's thigh, meeting his eyes with an earnest expression. "Whatever risk comes with trying to keep you safe, I'll take."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry nods, one hand almost tripping over the other in his rush to grab Derek's hand. "Believe me, I know what you can do. It's...awesome," he admits with a small, almost goofy smile, losing the thread for a moment as warm thoughts rush through him for how much Derek cares about him.

"But it's not exactly subtle," he says, lifting his eyes. "If you want to be out in the field with me, I think we should talk about some kind of disguise."

[triskehale]

Derek gets distracted by the look on Barry's face, eyes tracing the curve of his smile. The words snap him back to the reality of the situation, and Derek knits his brow for a moment before shaking his head.

"No, that isn't for me," Derek tells him with a slight frown. "Back home I always had to hide what I was, but one of the things I like about being here is that I don't have to. I can be who I am."

He swallows hard and looks down at their joined hands. "Sure, I don't advertise it. But a disguise? I don't know."

[thescarletspeedster]

"I want you to be what you are, Derek, it's not about that," Barry tells him, rubbing the back of Derek's hand with his thumb. "It's not about hiding, it's about being safe. The more attention I attract, the more will fall on you, and if people know the Flash's friend is that incredibly handsome guy who keeps showing up at crime scenes, it's not going to be long before they use you against me. I've..." Barry lowers his eyes.

"I've seen it before."

[triskehale]

Derek's frown goes a bit deeper at the admission, and he can smell Barry's worry. He's obviously concerned, and the burden on him back at home must have been so heavy.

"I'm sorry if I've made things difficult for you as the Flash," Derek tells him, biting his lip and taking a moment to think. "But Barry, I'm-- I'm not a hero like you are. That isn't me. So what you're suggesting, giving me a disguise, it just wouldn't work."

[thescarletspeedster]

"Then," says Barry through the unhappy clench in his stomach. It seems early to be giving one another ultimatums, but he's serious about this. His father, Iris, Eddie, Patti - Barry's not going to see someone else used to get to him.

"Then you can't help me out there," he forces out. "It's not safe for you, or for me."

[triskehale]

Derek feels a little as if he's been doused with cold water. The feeling runs through him, trickling down to his toes, and he pulls his hand from Barry's grip.

"What, so I'm just supposed to stand by and do nothing?" Derek grits out, feeling angry and hurt and confused all at once. He stands up and scrubs a hand over his face, keeping his back to Barry for a moment as he takes a breath.

Eventually he turns around and looks down at him, eyes dark and sad. "I can't put on a mask and call myself a hero, Barry. With the things I've done-- all the people hurt because of me, I can't do it."

A shuddering breath escapes him and he looks at Barry pleadingly. "But I can't let you get hurt either."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry's stern expression collapses the instant Derek stands, those shoulders so rounded that there's no denying the hurt, but he holds his ground. It makes him sick and miserable to do it, especially when Derek says he's not a hero, but this will keep them both safer. He knows it will.

"You might have to," he says. "Barry, you can save all day long, but you're going to have to let the Flash take some hits. I know - " Barry huffs out a frustrated breath, "I know me getting taken by KIRIN as soon as we started dating didn't set a great precedent, but if I have food, there's not much that can take me down, Derek. I'm stronger than I look."

[triskehale]

"There's no difference to me," Derek replies, looking a bit frantic. "Whether Barry or the Flash, you're still you. I can't let you--"

The mention of KIRIN cuts him off and he flinches a little like he's been slapped, taking a step back and swallowing hard. Derek blames himself for that. Barry had mentioned strange things happening, and Derek didn't take him seriously enough. Barry sent him that message that night, and Derek didn't get there fast enough.

But it wasn't until now that he wonders if maybe Barry blames him too, even a little.

"I know I let you down once, but I didn't plan on doing it again," Derek says lowly, taking one jerky step towards the door. "But what you're telling me is that I'm not allowed to help you? That's what pack is, Barry. We help each other. But you seem to have drawn some line between you and the guy in the mask that I can't even begin to see."

[thescarletspeedster]

Barry's face draws up in confusion. "You've never let me down, Derek," he says, baffled, "Not ever. I know you'd show up to help me every time, okay? That's what I'm afraid of. Because if the criminals and the bad metas here start associating Derek Hale with the Flash, it's going to end badly for us both."

He twitches, keenly aware of the distance between Derek and the door, growing shorter all the time, but Barry doesn't speed to block him. It doesn't feel right, using his powers like that when they're - God, are they fighting? "I want to be pack. I love being pack," he adds quickly. "But doesn't that mean taking care of you, too? This is the best way I know to do it."

[triskehale]

A part of Derek was waiting for this. He knew he would screw up eventually, but he didn't know that it would be by just trying to help. No, not trying to-- he did help. If only he could take a step back and look rationally at what Barry was saying he might understand it, but right now he's too close to it, far too raw.

He turns around when Barry says what he does about pack and slumps against the door, head thumping lightly against it. His whole body still aches from the beating he just took, and he lets out a weary sigh.

"So I either have to hide who I am, something I had to do my whole life," Derek says quietly, voice shaking in the slightest way, "or I have to ignore when part of my pack is in danger-- the most important part-- ignore every instinct inside of me and just hope you come back to me? Those are my only options?"

[thescarletspeedster]

"It's not hiding," says Barry, a note of pleading in his voice when he stands. "My cowl isn't a mask. Sometimes I feel more like the Flash than I do Barry Allen, but I can't be the Flash all the time. I don't get to slow down, or rest, unless I can be Barry, too, and I can't do that if there's no separation between us. I know that it's different for you," he says, daring a step closer.

"I came into this late, but you were born a werewolf. It's what you've always been, and I don't want you to hide it. But the way I am, the way I have to do things, if you want to stand at my side then it can't be as Derek Hale."

[triskehale]

Derek feels this tiny blossom of hope when Barry moves closer to him, but it's torn down by his words. They cut like a blade and Derek flinches a little like they actually were. For a long moment he can't seem to speak, only managing to swallow hard and look down at the floor.

"Fine," is the only word that he can manage, eyes flashing red for a brief moment and then going dull. "If you don't want Derek Hale by your side, then he won't be there."